If I have a child...

There's a common question that follows after a wedding:

"When's the baby coming?"

People ask with concern, but, often, they know the answer. 

I am not a baby person. By that, I mean, I do not hate baby, or children for that matter. The love part may or may not come, depending on situation.

It may be surprising, but there are people who really cannot stand the sight of babies, no matter how cute they are. I used to love all babies and children till my mid-twenties. Somehow, another part of my gene took over, and I am sitting on top of the fence ever since. 

So, I am not a baby-hater, but I adore my nieces and nephews. They are family and fall into a different category. Friends' children mostly fall into this category too. I seldom go woo-ah over babies on street. I would still smile at them; it's not nice to be rude. 

Hubs can be considered a baby person, when compared with me. I find this put us into a pretty balanced state of mind somehow. So, if we have a baby, one would be estatically happy and the other calm. The baby wouldn't be suffocated with the endless hugs. 

We are still childless. We did try, but no, we are still childless. 

It's common that when a couple is childless, the first piece of advice would always go to the wife. Yes? No?

"Try this. It will help warm your womb." 

"It must be the green tea that you drink every morning. It's too cooling." 

"Prob your tube is blocked, see a doctor."

"You shouldn't take cold drinks during the time of the month. It's bad for trying." 

It's amazing how the fingers are seldom directed at the men in the quest for child. 

People, woman can't simply get pregnant by herself! There's always a father, regardless willingly, or not. 

We are lucky. My parents in-laws are pretty cool with our status quo. They are the "IN" in-laws like what I always tell people. I couldn't have ask for more. 

Would I like to have a child? Yes, there's no doubt. 

It's very exciting to think that we could mould the little mind into what I wish people nowadays are, especially the polite part, less eye-time on the smart device part, see rather than look, listen rather than hear. Perhaps the ability to play a musical instrument too so that s/he can have a channel to express a lot in little words (and so that there's less time on the smart device again. I have little faith that smart phone or tablet can help in fostering relationship)? I know I would teach my child how to trade, especially if it's a she. 

At the end of the day, it's just nice to have a little being and a warm sack to hold onto. A nice-smelling sack to love, no matter how many shitty diapers we need to change, and the endless heartaches that s/he would inflict upon us growing up. Of course, we could also be asking for trouble. But no one knows for sure. I didn't turn out too badly, neither did hubs. So I think the little "us" should be fine? 

Is there a terrible ache in the heart for that little-us? A little, but it's not going to kill us. 

A Chinese saying has somehow put it nicely and brings some comfort, i.e. for us: Children are karma from one's previous life. They are either here to pay back a debt or collect one. 

So, try hard but don't be too hard on yourself, especially the wife, or allow others be hard on you, if the little-you just decide not to come. As long as we try, the best we couldthere's no regret in our post-working-factory age, it could be better to let the karma unroll itself.