(If this is your first read, I would suggest you go back one post to read Part I first.)
I had the hospital contacted Dr Wu. While I had expected the collapse, acknowledging it was tough. I was fine with the surgery. Scars were the least worry of all; I have no less than 10 scars for all the procedures / surgeries that I went through. I was more worried I would be bed bound, not being able to shower, not being able to bring myself to the toilet, not able to wake up without a searing pain because the movement would disturb the wound where the tube is. These sound like minor stuff, but trust me, by the third day, the world seems to have a grey veil over it. I do not want my life to be disrupted.
I was lucky this time. Recovery was fast; my lung fully inflated by the time I left the hospital in about a week.
I had googled a lot about pneumothorax. Besides spontaneous pneumothorax, it could be triggered by hormones. At my first admission, the doctor told me this condition affects mostly the tall and skinny guys. I was short and stocky at 15. I read scary real life cases where one of the two sisters would have a pneumothorax attack almost every month. Options of hormone pills and removal of reproductive system were discussed. This condition is known as catamenial pneumothorax, and coincides with the onset of menstruation. A lot of females are familiar with endometriosis occurring in the uterus. Imagine endometriosis occurring on the lung pleura - known as thoracic or pulmonary endometriosis. Every month, a collapse happens. Wow.
A year after marriage, I went to see a gynae for pre conception check. I shared my condition. She said most pregnancies come with breathlessness, and I needed to know how to differentiate between a pneumothorax attack 's breathlessness and pregnancy's breathlessness. If I was to have an attack during my pregnancy, what were my options? "We will come to that when it happens, give me a call.", she said. I was pretty stunned when I came out from the clinic. Instead of getting comfort and confidence to try for a baby, I was lost. I was alone, ya, that's the thing about long distance marriage. But of course, we had our calls :)
In the end, we decided to leave it to mother nature. If we have a baby, let's celebrate. If conception doesn't happen, we take it that it is a nature's call and a hint that baby plan is best leave to others.
The condition sucks, but there are good things that came out of it, for me.
I had the hospital contacted Dr Wu. While I had expected the collapse, acknowledging it was tough. I was fine with the surgery. Scars were the least worry of all; I have no less than 10 scars for all the procedures / surgeries that I went through. I was more worried I would be bed bound, not being able to shower, not being able to bring myself to the toilet, not able to wake up without a searing pain because the movement would disturb the wound where the tube is. These sound like minor stuff, but trust me, by the third day, the world seems to have a grey veil over it. I do not want my life to be disrupted.
I was lucky this time. Recovery was fast; my lung fully inflated by the time I left the hospital in about a week.
I had googled a lot about pneumothorax. Besides spontaneous pneumothorax, it could be triggered by hormones. At my first admission, the doctor told me this condition affects mostly the tall and skinny guys. I was short and stocky at 15. I read scary real life cases where one of the two sisters would have a pneumothorax attack almost every month. Options of hormone pills and removal of reproductive system were discussed. This condition is known as catamenial pneumothorax, and coincides with the onset of menstruation. A lot of females are familiar with endometriosis occurring in the uterus. Imagine endometriosis occurring on the lung pleura - known as thoracic or pulmonary endometriosis. Every month, a collapse happens. Wow.
A year after marriage, I went to see a gynae for pre conception check. I shared my condition. She said most pregnancies come with breathlessness, and I needed to know how to differentiate between a pneumothorax attack 's breathlessness and pregnancy's breathlessness. If I was to have an attack during my pregnancy, what were my options? "We will come to that when it happens, give me a call.", she said. I was pretty stunned when I came out from the clinic. Instead of getting comfort and confidence to try for a baby, I was lost. I was alone, ya, that's the thing about long distance marriage. But of course, we had our calls :)
In the end, we decided to leave it to mother nature. If we have a baby, let's celebrate. If conception doesn't happen, we take it that it is a nature's call and a hint that baby plan is best leave to others.
The condition sucks, but there are good things that came out of it, for me.
I always loved school, but it was total hell when I returned to school after my two attacks at 15. I was totally lost after missing the entire first semester. I was in secondary three, that was the year when we streamed and everything was new. EVERY SINGLE thing, except for the first and second languages. For the first time of life, I had to ask for tuition. It was night after night of studying, and for the first time too - I fell asleep during the tuition. It was then I realised there were selfish people around, people who would not share and teach for the fear that you would do better than them. I promised myself I would never do that to anyone (let's exclude the meanies... I am afterall not a saint). I worked my ass off and in less six months, I managed to turn around all my subjects, except for Physics - which I never learn to appreciate. Not fantastic results, but I think it was good enough for me.
There are the god-send people that I would always be thankful to.
Seeing Dad coming in every morning during my teens-year-admission is still vivid in my mind. Mom staying by my beside catching my vomit after the first surgery would always stay with me. The selfless tuition teacher who let me slept through the tuition and continued after I woke. She guided me to 100 marks for my Additional Mathematics.
I learnt that end of the day, family would always be the first ones to stand by you. I learnt that if you work hard enough with variables that are dependent solely on yourself, impossibles do happen. I learnt that breathing is not to be taken for granted - I feel every breath, not by choice but perhaps psychologically. And I learn not to fritter away money and time meaninglessly. You never know if there is a tomorrow.
Without pneumothorax, things might have been different for me. There is no better or worse, I would just be different. Savings might be a tad less important to me, I might spend a bit more freely. This is perhaps the part that came out most obvious from this condition. I always have this fear that one day if I need treatment, I need to be assured that I have the funds on standby. The last thing I need during a time of pain and fear, is the worry of money, which by the way does not fall from the sky. We have plenty of precious resources like air and water gifted by the nature, but money is not one of them. Money is definitely not the most important thing in the world, but no one can do without it. This is what got me hooked on the importance of health insurance.
There are the god-send people that I would always be thankful to.
Seeing Dad coming in every morning during my teens-year-admission is still vivid in my mind. Mom staying by my beside catching my vomit after the first surgery would always stay with me. The selfless tuition teacher who let me slept through the tuition and continued after I woke. She guided me to 100 marks for my Additional Mathematics.
I learnt that end of the day, family would always be the first ones to stand by you. I learnt that if you work hard enough with variables that are dependent solely on yourself, impossibles do happen. I learnt that breathing is not to be taken for granted - I feel every breath, not by choice but perhaps psychologically. And I learn not to fritter away money and time meaninglessly. You never know if there is a tomorrow.
Without pneumothorax, things might have been different for me. There is no better or worse, I would just be different. Savings might be a tad less important to me, I might spend a bit more freely. This is perhaps the part that came out most obvious from this condition. I always have this fear that one day if I need treatment, I need to be assured that I have the funds on standby. The last thing I need during a time of pain and fear, is the worry of money, which by the way does not fall from the sky. We have plenty of precious resources like air and water gifted by the nature, but money is not one of them. Money is definitely not the most important thing in the world, but no one can do without it. This is what got me hooked on the importance of health insurance.
This post aims to share some knowledge of the condition, and I also hoping to reach out to people who had, or still have pneumothorax so that we can share our experiences and how to handle this condition better.
And, please remember this, my friends, it is not cool to slap someone on the back as a joke or a "hi". You never know what you might trigger.
And, please remember this, my friends, it is not cool to slap someone on the back as a joke or a "hi". You never know what you might trigger.
No comments:
Post a Comment