Something for Myself

Mom's favourite question is "Do you want to eat?".

My favourite reply is "No", which I know is very terrible of me. Well, I don't always say no. I am always home for dinner (100% attendance for the past quarter) unless I have an appointment, not counting days when I was not in Singapore. She usually asks me like 30 minutes after I have my breakfast or first thing when I wake up. I just need to defend myself a little :>

So anyway, back to the topic. 

Recently mom's question started me thinking. Would I be the same when I am old, i.e. family is my only life? It would still be a big part but would it be the only part? 

Mom spent a good part of her life caring for the family. She did some sewing to help out with the expenses on top of that. She keeps in touch with her friends, but I do not really recall her going out often with her friends. No brunch, no shopping, no coffee shops. There could be the once in every two, three years meet up, but that was about it. Mom loves gatherings, so it must have been tough on her...

Photo credit: Bill Lee

For Dad, he still catches up with his taxi-kakis every Saturday after he stopped driving when his first grand child was born. Nowadays, the grand children are older, he goes on tours with friends now and then. He was angry when we could not understand why he wanted a smart phone... Dad is still very much active; he has a life outside of the home. 

Photo credit: Bill Lee

Could the difference been because Dad had worked outside of home while Mom's world has been mostly confine within the four walls of home? 

Much as I love Mom, I fear a routine life when I am older. So I have already started to plan what I would like to do when life slows down. Life can slow down, but I would like to still be active and have a world outside of my family. 

Set up a blog, so that you can write, if you are a writer-in-the-closet. Set up an online shop if you like to shop and curate. Pick up a hobby that you can cultivate and master by the time you are old to enjoy iy. 

Children or not, they might not always be with you when you are old. It would be nice to have grand children to spoilt, but I am fine doing that for dogs. 

This is what I know I want : 

• Definitely dogs. And a reliable boarding house for them when we travel. 

• Definitely writing too. Whether it is on my Mac or a blog, I want to continue to write. This is definitely something for myself. 

• A part time cleaner to come in at least once a week. I like a clean environment, and would still like a clean environment when I am old. Perhaps especially when I am old because I might not be cleaning as well as when I am younger. Spots might be missed. 

• A robot vacuum that has a wet mop function. A hair and dust free floor would be nice. 

• The ability to spend. Not frivolously, but I do not want to be standing in front of the fruits row, wondering whether I should get that $20 per punnet of strawberries. I used to think I would spend less when I am older, but that might not be so true. I would be ticking off my bucket list, and how could my spending be lesser. Of course, I am not going to get into debt for the list, but I certainly do not want to be stinging on myself and my loved ones. I do not intend to bring a single cent to my grave, nor do I intend to leave anything behind (except for hubby and family if I am to go before him). 

• A library room in the house if space permits. A rocking chair in an air con room with shelves after shelves of books; together with a cup of tea would be really nice. 

• A craft room where I can leave my handicraft and sewing arounds. Sewing machine, Serger, mosaic, pilers, grout, cloth, glass bottles, flowers, plants. Of course, this is also provided there is space. Books and craft can always combine too. 

• Friends. I think I have already found my circle of friends who would be walking with me for the rest of my life. Some of them have kids now, and we do not meet up often. That is fine, because we connect on a certain level that do not need the constant meet up. In about 18 years time, when their kids are independent, we would be having our tea in a cafe once or twice a week.  

• And of course a companion. Hubby. 

I am not too greedy, I think. 

Photo credit: Bill Lee

Everyone deserves a good life, just make sure you work for it. And be happy when working for it; otherwise it might not be something that you want.